Not Coming to a Theater Near You

Transformers / USA / 2007

As one friend said, “We just watched a two-and-a-half hour advertisement for General Motors.” Transformers is a long, tiring adaptation of the 1984 animated series and 1986 film, with enough plot holes to make your head spin. Despite all the attempts at accuracy, there is just too much happening—two hours in, when our heroes convene at the Hoover Dam, the films is still bogged down by its need to explain. Add to that its inexact marketability—violence and obscenity-laced dialogue in what should easily have been a kid’s film—as well as anomalous performances by Anthony Anderson and John Turturro, not to mention Jon Voight as the shotgun-wielding Secretary of Defense, and you have one bizarre box-office monster.

The only consolation, besides the outstanding special effects, is the casting of Peter Cullen from the original series. After more than two decades, hearing his voice enlivening Optimus Prime made me nostalgic for my adolescence, when I used to watch reruns on early-morning television. I split with that childhood staple years ago, though maybe it’s about time I reconnect.

by Adam Balz | Source: 35MM Theatrical Print
06 Jul 2007 11:23 AM | Comments (2)

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1. Chiranjit / 6 July 2007 / 8:33 AM / URL

   Wasn’t there violence and obscenity-laced dialogue in the original animated film as well? I remember being surprised by the characters’ use of four-letter words when I was a kid, though it only made me think the movie was more bad-ass.

2. Adam B. / 6 July 2007 / 1:19 PM / URL

   Hmmm, I don’t remember, though I’m positive the animated series never contained as many instances of “shit” as the film does.