Not Coming to a Theater Near You

The Day Time Ended

Grant
Steve, you know what this is, don’t you? A time-space warp.

Steve
I don’t know what that is.

John ‘Bud’ Cardos, I am disappointed. After Kingdom of the Spiders, I thought you could do no wrong. But this plodding tale of whiny people living in the California desert fails at every turn. The story has something to do with the delayed effects of a triple supernova that occurred some 200 years in the past. It seems the extreme energy from this event created a vortex that has the mysterious ability to transport people through time. And wouldn’t you know it, the whiny desert people are smack dab in the middle of the vortex.

After about an hour of tormenting the desert people with glowing pyramids, floating camcorders, and a stop-motion alien ballerina, we finally get a taste of actual time traveling, in the form of some stop-motion dinosaurs and a landscape full of discarded airplane parts. But throughout, the story drags, and the characters remain uninteresting. Only Jim Davis as Grant elicits any affection, spouting such great lines as “the vortex took them.” Maybe if Shatner were the star here, as he was in Spiders, Cardos would have been more inspired.

by Thomas Scalzo   on 03 Sep 2010 11:17 AM   Source: Media Home Entertainment VHS